I'm writing this here because I do not have Word on my new mac

I am not the type of person to remember the details. In fact, I consider myself in a constant state of slight drunkenness in which I remember very little, and usually just the very exciting tidbits. I can neither say that i am the romantic type. I tend to avoid situations that I sense could turn emotional and roses make me nauseous. But this, this memory, this person, this love is eternally etched in my mind no matter how forgetful of a mood I am in.

My first memory of him was my first day of school at Nuestra Senora de la Pompeya in Necochea, my host city in Argentina. While the story of my exchange is a lengthy and memorable one I did have the time or patience to recount it now. Upon entering the classroom I was too startled to notice much, but as the day continued I began to understand the clusters of my new classmates. The group of guys that hung out with my group of girl friends ( my friends by osmosis thanks to my generous host sister) consisted of one jock, one stylish guy, one adorable clown, a good looking rebel and assorted others and....him.

He was the one that had unavoidable charm, whiplike intelligence and talent in everything that he pursued. Though not as obvious to me at our first meeting he was THE ringleader of this group and of our school. He achieved this unanimous position of devotion purely through charming his way to the top. His daily adventures were infamous, yet it seemed any offense was easily pardoned by our adoring teachers.

But his exalted position as local deity wasnt what got me. Sure, the mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes, his dirty blond hair, and tall lanky body were attractive but it wasnt a mere physical attraction. To be completely honest to this day I'm not sure why or how I fell so deep into his pit charisma, all that I know is that with each interaction I sunk deeper into the quicksand, and there was no escape in sight.

Frustration is a wasted emotion

Mel and I are so frustrated that Netflix instant movie only works on PCs... Booo

I am constantly bugged by my manager she has some serious weridonesses and she always putts me down :( Today she asked me if I had brushed my hair.. hahah but I LOVE my longgg ass shakira hair, that is stil sorta wavy reaches my waist and sexy as hell.

Infinita Tristeza

Do you ever feel that within the deep recesses of your being there is an infinite sadness?
A sadness that you do not visit often but is always there?

I , for one, feel this pain and am reminded of it with any pedestrian trauma. Almost as if they were smaller peaks of a , larger, above-surface iceberg ( 75% is underwater, unseen you know..).

A strange twist ,however, to my pit of un-curable melancholy, is that as often as I feel tinges of this pain during bad times, it is just as much the beautiful and stunning that brings me back to that infinite lonely sentiment...

I almost feel as if it were some sort or life-altering incident that I have lived just a lifetime ago that I can still catch glimpses of. Something heartbreakingly sad that is always lingering at the back of my heart.


Does anyone else feel like that?

Bizzare

Crazy. My dog died. He was 15 years old in human years! You do the math... The last couple of years he's been so old we just let him sleep and eat, if anything I saw him as more of a pain in the butt than a loved pet. But now that he's gone I am questioning my treatment of him...I feel guilty for nit playing with him more..for not being more affectionate.

My clothes are still covered in his white fur :/
RIP Laddie boy July4th 1993

Doucheeee

Making up has been...ok. But of course we have returned to our old ways of fighting and the like about you know who. How unproductive, a true waste of emotional time.
Oh well.
I found someone over Craigslist that wants to speak spanish with me :) I'm excited , I hope it results like I imagined.
The last couple of days i've been resting and recovering from working so much. Sleeping and tanning, yeeeeee.
I have nothing intelligent to say, just thought I'd report on my day to day life.



This is the only thing keeping me going... my beautiful ridiculous juicy keychain :) ( that I did NOT but at 'madbargins')